I hate campaign season.
I hate that they call it a ‘season’ when it lasts 2 long, painful years.
I hate how the candidates want us to think they care about us, but really only care about our vote (and campaign contributions).
I hate the non-stop political reports, the requisite scandals, the knit-picking of every syllable spoken by every candidate.
And I especially hate the endorsements made by those who take themselves and their political sway way too seriously.
Does it matter to you that Ted Kennedy loves Obama or that Arnold Schwarzenegger favors McCain? Do you care what Eva Longoria (Clinton) or Chuck Norris (Huckabee) think about our political future?
Well, I certainly don’t. But then again I don’t speak for all of Irish Grove, do I?
Suddenly I’m curious as to what my Irish Grove cohorts think. Let’s go find out.
“Hillary really moooves me. She’s proud. Articulate. Ready to face the world. I can relate to that.”
“O-baaah-ma, baby. He’s multi-colored, err racial, just like us.”
“I’m single, progressive, and like to treat all animals in a herd equally. Plus I like to run. Over and over again. Just like Ralph Nader. He’ll take my vote this November.”
“The candidate that best resembles, err represents me is John McCain. He’ll keep the country in line, just like I keep the cows in line.”
“I just wish John Edwards was still in it. He made me giggle and feel tingly all over. I never did get a chance to bat my long, luscious eyelashes at him.”
“Huckabee. He’s as persistent as a rooster in a flock o’hens. Oh, and he eats possum; a nasty habit that is, nonetheless, a relief to chickens everywhere.”
“Who me? I’m an independent. Ain’t nobody takin’ my vote for granted. If they want it, they’ll have to work for it.”
So, folks, there you have it. Straight out of the horse’s mouth…and the cow’s mouth, and the….well, you get my drift. And these? Well, these might finally be some endorsements I can take seriously.
